“Your pride has cut you off from the Body of Christ!” These words echoed truth in my soul, laying bare the hidden motives of my heart!
Several months before receiving this chastisement from the Holy Spirit, I had received Christ as my Savior (been born-again) and was baptized in the Holy Spirit. Speaking in tongues and entering a new dimension of praise and worship were the primary evidences of this. The event of my salvation and being filled with the Holy Spirit radically changed my life. I had a new dynamic boldness in declaring His Word, sharing my faith, and in proclaiming the goodness of God. I was overwhelmed with a sense of awe at this new reality. I began studying the Bible and praying with a passion that I had never experienced or even dreamed existed. One day as I was prayerfully studying the Bible, I reread the story in Luke 7:36-50 of the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears. I had read this story hundreds of times before, yet that day was different.
You might remember the story. Simon, a Pharisee, invited Jesus to his house for a meal. Jesus gladly went home with Simon; however, in the middle of the meal, a woman with a very bad reputation came in though uninvited, knelt behind Jesus, and began uncontrollably weeping. She cried so much that Jesus’ feet became wet with her tears. Then she did the unthinkable; she touched Jesus. She actually began washing his feet with her tears. Then, dare I repeat it; she let her hair down and began drying His feet with her hair. Adding further insult, she then took a very expensive box of fragrant ointment and poured it on his feet. What a waste! This woman was as bold as Jezebel was!
Simon was incensed; how could this woman dare to do something so, so, so unthinkable? In his home, furthermore! More than that, if Jesus was a true prophet, surely He would know what kind of woman this was. He would rebuke her; and as punishment for her sins, He most certainly would chastise her publicly and reject her from his presence! How could He let Himself be so spiritually and publicly defiled by allowing such a woman to touch him? A true prophet of God would never act so shamefully!
Jesus, however, judged people by their hearts and not by their outward appearance, social status, or previous life style. All people were valuable and worthy of love and respect because they are the objects of God’s affection, the beat of His heart! In response to Simon’s negative thoughts, Jesus tells the parable of two debtors. One man owed ten times as much as the other man; however, neither could repay their debt. The moneylender magnanimously forgave both debts. Jesus then asked Simon which man would love and appreciate their benefactor the most. Baffled as to why Jesus is telling this story, Simon answered that the man who had been forgiven the most would love his benefactor the most. Jesus then said,
Luke 7:43b-47 New King James Version
“You have rightly judged.” 44Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. 45“You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. 46“You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. 47“Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”
As I read this passage, verse 47 impacted me differently than ever before. “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven–for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little (Luke 7:47)." I remember asking God something like: “Jesus I love you. You know that I love you; and yet, I’ve led a pretty moral life. I haven’t fallen into the kind of sinful lifestyle that this woman had. I don’t think that I should go and sin more so that I can love you more. So what can I do? I want to love you with all of my heart and passion. What can I do to love you more?”
Have you ever noticed that God often doesn’t give you what you ask for, but always gives you what you really need? In this case, I did not even know what to ask for? I realize now, that there was nothing that “I could do” to love God more, but God could do something, and did, and is!
A few months later, having forgotten about this prayer, I was praying about other concerns. I don’t remember what I was praying about, but I remember the encounter with Jesus. As I was praying I received a vision. I saw a right hand that had been cut off from its body. It was as if I was looking through the eyes of the body that was missing the hand. There was a clear tube coming from the air on the right side of the body that I was in. This tube had blood flowing through it into the hand and back out onto the ground, keeping the hand alive. However, the hand was just lying there, twitching–a bloody, muddy mess. It was a horrific sight!
The Lord then spoke to me and said “Your pride has cut you off from the Body of Christ.” The motives of my heart were revealed and I understood that my pride predisposed me to refuse to receive the Spirit and/or Word of God through anyone other member of the Body of Christ. I had come to a place of such spiritual pride that I would not receive correction or instruction from other believers. I thought that I had a direct line to God and did not need others to speak into my life. My pride had also disabled me from being a blessing to others. In fact, my sinful attitude was causing the Body tremendous pain. Although I still felt the Spirit of God (the blood) flowing in my life, I was spiritually sick and dysfunctional and would eventually die if not reconnected to the body.
Sometimes the truth hurts! This time, it most certainly did! I was pierced to the heart, repenting in tears and asked God to forgive me. I then saw the left hand pick up the right hand and reattach it to the right wrist. As the left hand passed over the wound, it was totally healed. In fact, there was no scar or evidence that the right hand had ever been cut off. I had been restored to the Body of Christ, but my pride and self-righteousness had only begun to be dealt with!
Shortly after this experience I was again prayerfully reading the Bible. I was reading Mathew 23 where Jesus strongly reproaches the religious leaders of His day, calling them hypocrites, snakes, a den of vipers, and sons of hell. As I came to the close of this section of scripture, the Lord spoke to me very clearly saying, “That’s the way you are.” There was no anger or disgust in His voice, only the love of a father sternly and yet compassionately chastening his son.
Again, I was cut to the heart with truth. I realized that much of what I did was motivated out of my selfish ambition and desire to look good in the eyes of others. It was as if God had opened my heart and showed me how filthy it was. Oh how I cried! I cried for two weeks. Members of my family questioned if I had lost my mind. To this day I cry when I think of it. The ugliness in my own soul was/is too much for me to handle. Except for the comfort of the Spirit and the assurance of forgiveness, I would have gone stark raving mad.
My prayer was answered. I had been forgiven much, much more than mere adultery or murder. I have been forgiven of my pride and self-righteousness, the most hideous and deceptive of all sin. The only people that Jesus was ever angry at were the hypocrites, of whom I was one, and sometimes am.
To this day, Jesus continues to answer my prayer to love Him more. He does this primarily through uncovering my wickedness and enabling me to repent and receive His abundant forgiveness. “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little (Luke 7:47)." May we all wash His feet with our tears of repentance and gratitude! You see, it’s not how much we’ve sinned, that’s important to God, but how much of His forgiveness that we’ve received, and how much repentance has come to our lives.
In the parable of the two debtors, it really doesn’t matter that one owed ten times as much as the other. The debt could have been a million times greater. What is important is that both recognized that they owed far more than they could ever repay, and that they were both 100% forgiven. Both should have been equally grateful!
I’ve shared this very personal and revealing story so that you might understand “from whence I speak.” From experience, I understand the mindset, the worldview and philosophy of legalism. Much of Jesus’ ministry was focused on exposing and opposing such legalism. Jesus purposefully healed people on Saturday, why, because He desired to correct the errant legalistic teachings concerning the Sabbath. He also did such things to expose the hateful and damnable attitudes that are legalism’s byproducts—pride and self-righteousness.
